“Children are born ready, able and eager to learn. They actively reach out to interact with other people, and in the world around them. Development is not an automatic process, however. It depends on each unique child having opportunities to interact in positive relationships and enabling environments.” Development Matters in the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS)

Your child’s Language and speech development is an essential part of their progression in life. It’s important that you - as a parent or parents - and your childcare provider work together in partnership, to address this vital stage of your child’s life. Otherwise, it will impact negatively on their speech and language development. In order to show our commitment to this aim, all staff has attended an I CAN training session.

Speech and language comes under the communication umbrella. Having effective communication skills is a fundamental key to living a fruitful life. If your child is able to communicate well, it will build up their self-confidence. That in return, will help your child’s future well-being.

Language skills are vital for your child’s development

Lack of communication can adversely affect your child’s learning, temperament and social development. According to I CAN, it also has an impact on their future success. “Communication and language skills are the foundation for children's learning and key to their life chances. In some parts of the UK, over 50% of children start school without essential communication skills. These skills are the vehicle for learning, making friends and succeeding in life.” www.ican.org

Did you know that one of the reasons your toddler has screaming and shouting tantrums is because they’re not able to communicate with you? Maybe they’re tired or hungry or feeling some other emotion. But they can’t say, “Mummy or daddy, I’m hungry. Or I’m tired. Or I don’t feel well.” As a result, they get frustrated.

It’s similar to adults when you’re trying to get your point across to someone else. Imagine you’re doing your best to explain what you want to say, but they don’t get it. Eventually, you will get irritated unless you have a lot of patience. You also need to exercise patience with your child during this delicate stage of their development.

There are strategies you can use to assist your child’s language skills. In addition, working in partnership with your child’s nursery will advance their development.

Ivy League Nursery works in collaboration with I CAN. I CAN is a children’s communication charity. Their vision is, “a world where all children have the communication skills they need to fulfil their potential.” And their mission is, “that no child should be left out or left behind because of a difficulty speaking or understanding”.

“I CAN aims to help parents and early years practitioners make communication development a priority for children.  We have specially designed programmes to help early years practitioners support and develop the communication skills of children. These include a range of Toolkits, workplace training and resources for practitioners to meet the requirements for improving provision and practice in developing children's communication and language as well as supporting partnership working.”  I CAN

Some of the following tips and advice are taken from a poster from I CAN. You can download your copy by clicking on this link.

Speech and language development strategies

Babies: 6 - 18 months

·        6 months

When you speak to your baby at close range, they watch your face intensely. They experiment with sounds such as, “Bababa.” They understand familiar words, like “Milk” and “Bye Bye.”

Tip: While you’re changing your baby’s nappies, feeding or taking them out, talk to them.

·        1 year

Your baby will start to use simple words, although you will not understand what they’re saying. Also, most babies will not understand your instructions, such as “Give it to mummy.”

Tip: You can help them to listen properly by turning off the TV when speaking to them. Talk to your baby often & pronounce words clearly. Repeat familiar words, such as ‘milk, daddy, mummy, hello, bye’.

Toddlers and Preschoolers: 18 months - 5 year olds

·        18 months

Your toddler will be able to join simple words and find familiar things in books that you point to. Or identify toys in the room. Help them develop their speech by reflecting the words they say to you. For example, if they say words like ‘Mum’, reply by saying “Yes, I am mum.”

Tip: Get down to their level and say their name to get their attention. Make learning fun. Imitate their words. This will show them that you value what they are saying and encourage them to speak more. Seek help if they can’t say any words or understand what you say.

·        2 year olds

Your child should be able to understand longer sentences like, “It’s time for dinner now.” They should also know how to form 2 to 3 word sentences using simple words (up to 200). Similarly, they may add new words daily.

Tip: You can help reinforce and develop their speech by repeating and adding to their words. For example, they say “Cat.” You reply, “Yes, it’s a cat.” Keep sentences short. Speak to your child and tell them what you’re doing. Encourage them to repeat your words back to you.

·        3 years

Your child should now be able form complex sentences such as, “I played with my friend today.” Although, they will still have difficulties pronouncing certain word sounds, such as ‘r, w, l, y, f, th, s sh, ch & j’. Don’t worry if they find some words hard to say. It’s normal.

Tip: Be patient with your child while they’re speaking. Make eye contact and allow them time to finish what they are saying. Don’t draw attention to any difficulties they may have with saying hard words.

·        4 years

They’re getting independent with their speech. Your child will be able to speak to adults and be understood. This is the phase when they ask lots of questions. Moreover, they will be excited to share what they did throughout the day with you.

Tip: Instead of asking them a lot of questions, comment positively on what they tell you. Too many questions will hinder the flow of natural communication. Praise your child instead of criticising. Be patient with them.

·        5 years

At this age your child can talk to you and play at the same time. They are able to understand and respond to complex questions like, “Show me the orange, yellow and blue balloons. And what’s your teacher’s name?” They should be using and understanding most of the words you use.

Tip: Seek help if you can’t understand what your child is trying to tell you. Or if they haven’t developed from using simple words, or can’t put together legible sentences.

The advice and tips above are just some of the basic guidelines to consider, in terms of your child’s speech and language development.

Your child spends more hours at nursery than they do at home. Therefore, it is extremely important to work in partnership with your childcare provider. They will notice any progress or lack of development in their communication skills. They are also qualified to offer you the right guidance in line with the EYFS (Early Years Foundation Stage).

“Language for Communication – is about how children become communicators. Learning to listen and speak emerges out of non-verbal communication, which includes facial expression, eye contact, and hand gesture. These skills develop as children interact with others, listen to and use language, extend their vocabulary and experience stories, songs, poems and rhymes.” Communication & Language (EYFS PDF)

                                 Over to you:
                      We have some questions for you to consider…

a) What will you do to help develop your child’s speech or   
      language skills?
b) How do you plan to work in partnership with your child’s 
      nursery to  address this important topic?
c)  Are you happy with your child’s speech development?
d)  If you are concerned about your child’s language or speech 
      development, what steps would you take to obtain support?

The beautiful, long summer days are passing. Evenings are darker and the weather is getting colder. Winter is approaching. The winter months will see a rise in outbreaks of flu and colds plus, other related illnesses which come with diarrhea and vomiting.
Children are prone to catch whatever is going around, as they’re more vulnerable than adults. They’re not clued up about hygiene and healthy eating.
"Children play closely together, and they’re still learning hygiene," says Dr. Judy MacDonald, Calgary’s Medical Officer of Health. "They can easily spread germs from person to person." - Best Health Magazine
It’s up to you to protect them. Teach your child what they should do, to lower the risks of spreading infections.

Put the following measures in place to prevent infections from spreading
Flu and cold germs spread through touch. Or by breathing in small drops of mucus from someone sneezing or coughing, which produces respiratory droplets. The droplets can travel as far as three to six feet and land in your nose, mouth or eyes.

Holding hands with someone who has a cold or flu, or touching something they touched (like the railings on buses and trains) and then touching your mouth, nose or eyes will pass the virus to you. Carry antibacterial wipes or gel in your bag and clean your child’s hands, and yours, when you’re out in public.

Below is a list of some of the precautions you can adapt to protect yourself, baby or child from spreading germs, or picking up germs from others:

· If your baby or child has the flu, a cold, is vomiting, with a high temperature or diarrhea, keep them at home. Otherwise, they’ll spread the infection to other children.

Your child’s nursery isn't obliged to accept them if they’re sick. They have  to protect the other children. There is a section under the Terms and Condition’s Policy at Ivy League Nursery under ‘Sickness & Illness’ which states: “Any child who develops an infectious illness must be kept at home. For sickness such as vomiting, diarrhea, discharges from eyes or mouth, conjunctivitis, sore throat and other obvious rashes, there is a 48 hour exclusion period from nursery or until the child is well enough to return.”

In addition, the nursery works within the guidelines of the EYFS which points out their responsibilities. “The provider must promote the good health of children attending the setting. They must have a procedure, discussed with parents and/or carers, for responding to children who  are ill or infectious, take necessary steps to prevent the spread of infection, and take  appropriate action if children are ill.” - Statutory Framework For The Early Years (3.44)

· Tell your child to wash their hands often with soap and water. Frequent hand washing will get rid of viruses they pick up from touching. Plus, they should always wash their hands after using the bathroom. Use alcohol-free cleansing wipes to clean your baby’s hands regularly throughout the day. You should also wash your hands after wiping your child’s runny nose.

·  If you have a cold or flu and you breastfeed, use a tissue to cover your face when you sneeze or cough. Wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, after using the tissue or after touching your face. Another option is to sneeze into your elbow.
·  Disinfect doorknobs, toys, work surfaces, table tops and remote controls by using antibacterial wipes or spray. You can make your own disinfectant by mixing 1/4 cup of bleach to one gallon of warm water

Exercise and a Healthy diet will help protect you and your child
If you provide food for your child at nursery, always include healthy
snacks. That is a recommendation of the EYFS. “Where children are provided
with meals, snacks and drinks, they must be healthy, balanced and nutritious.” Statutory Framework For The Early Years (3.47)

Exercise combined with a healthy diet, lots of sleep, water, fruit juice and warm drinks will boost your immune system, and help fight off colds and flus. Drinking fluids will stop dehydration. Encourage your child to eat healthy foods, and cut down on junk food.
There are lots of easy ways to exercise. Walking to the shops or nursery, if possible,
with your child, instead of driving is great for both of you. They can even ride
their scooter, tricycle or bike. Dancing together is fun and a fantastic workout. And
then there’s ice skating for the ultimate fun exercise. 

Check out these exercises you can do with your baby:

Let’s look at some of the delicious foods that will help your child stay healthy:

· Fruits containing Vitamin C are great for keeping sickness at bay. Be creative to tempt their taste buds. Have you heard of fruit kabobs with a creamy dip? It’s made up of papaya, strawberries and cantaloupe melon. For the dip, mix equal parts cream cheese and marshmallow fluff (you can buy this from most supermarkets).
 Also, give them fresh fruits daily, even in small portions. A handful of grapes, a small apple, a slice of melon, strawberries and a banana will do wonders for their health. 

· Dress up orange segments to make it yummy. Melt some dark chocolate. Peel the orange and dip the segments in the chocolate. Leave it to cool on a wax paper-lined cookie sheet. When the chocolate is hard, it's time for them to eat and enjoy. 

· Include lots of green leafy vegetables like spinach, broccoli, cabbage and kale with their meals. Or better still, let them choose the veggies they would like to eat.

· Peel some cucumbers and carrots and cut into thin sticks to make veggie dippers. You can get different varieties of cream dippers in the supermarkets. 

· Green tea is packed with antioxidant and is wonderful for fighting viruses that leads to colds and flu. It’s helped keep the viruses away in my household. Anytime we feel unwell, two to three cups a day always works. Green tea is an acquired taste. So, for your little ones, it’s best to brew it, then let it cool down and chill before giving it to them. Sweeten it with some honey for a nicer taste.

· Let’s not forget the good old-fashioned chicken soup. It’s truly nourishing. According to research, the traditional (home made) chicken soup contains vitamins and nutrients. The anti-inflammatory effect in the soup could ease symptoms of colds and flu.

Making simple changes to your lifestyle will help you and your household stay healthy this winter. If you are exercising regularly and you have a healthy diet, you’ll notice a big difference in your health.
Will you protect others by staying at home if you’re ill or keep your child at home?
Will you teach them about how germs spread through sneezing and coughing?

Is there anything else you do to stay healthy, that’s not on this list? Please share it in the comments below. Your feedback is always appreciated.

It happens to the best of us you know. Time is limited and you end up not doing the important things you should. One of those important things is communicating with your child.

But the “busyness” of life gets in the way…

Life these days is about multitasking. You take care of your baby or child, maybe you go to work or you’re a stay at home parent. You do the shopping, gardening, cooking, ironing, cleaning, the nursery runs, plus lots more during the day.

Sometimes it’s hard to find the time to communicate with your child.

It’s not because you don’t want to. There are just not enough hours in the day. So, they don’t get enough attention from you.

But communicating with your child is vital.

Don’t push them away like Nicola did to her son. “I used to tell my son, ‘not now’ or ‘go away’ when I was too tired to answer his questions, then I realised that I wasn’t helping him to learn.” ~ Listening to Children - NSPCC.

Did you know that it doesn’t have to be so hard? You can communicate with them while you’re doing your normal day-to-day activities. Or make time to devote to them so you can listen and talk to each other.

“Communication and language development involves giving children opportunities to experience a rich language environment; to develop their confidence and skills in expressing themselves; and to speak and listen in a range of situations.” ~ ~ EYFS Statutory Framework 2012 (PDF)

So, how do you make it a priority to communicate (I mean speak, listen, understand and pay attention) properly with them?

There are a number of ways you can incorporate communication in your everyday life.

1.  The use of communication and language
“Language for Communication – is about how children become communicators. Learning to listen and speak emerges out of non-verbal communication, which includes facial expression, eye contact, and hand gesture. These skills develop as children interact with others, listen to and use language, extend their vocabulary and experience stories, songs, poems and rhymes.” ~ Early Years Matter

The first 5 years are crucial for your child’s communication development. That’s when they learn to speak by listening and repeating. You are one of the most important people to help with the development of their language skills.

Be creative. Make communication easy and fun.

• Babies communicate by listening, smiling and moving their bodies to music and rhythm. They enjoy stories and respond to familiar sounds. Sing to your baby during bath times. Read a bedtime story as you settle them to sleep. Talk to them as you walk, while you’re pushing them in their buggy.  
  

• Children love nursery rhymes. Those catchy, upbeat songs helps them learn how to sing and form new words. 
  

• Read your child or toddler’s favourite books to them. Reading the same book lots of times will help develop their speech. They’ll naturally repeat the words after you. Repetition is good for learning. I read an ABC book (over and over again) to my 14 months old grandson. Now, every time he picks up the book he says, “Deeee and Eeeee.” Although he doesn't understand what the alphabet is, he’s learning how to sound words.
  

 “Snuggle together for quiet times with a book. Encourage your older baby to turn the pages and to point to what they see. Ask your older toddler how the characters might be feeling and wonder together what will happen next. Let your child choose the books. The more interest they have in the book, the more attentive and enjoyable your time together will be.

Reading with your child teaches more than literacy and language skills. They are learning that you value their interests and choices, and that you love and enjoy being close to them. Studies show that lifelong readers are those who, as children, simply found reading a pleasurable experience (what was read didn't seem to matter as much as how children felt about the activity).” ~

2.  Key words to use when speaking with your child
If English isn’t your first language, record lullabies, or nursery rhymes in your own language. Play it to your baby when they need to sleep or calm down. Also, use key (positive) words in your own language. Laying that foundation helps develop their English.

Children thrive on positive feedback. It makes them feel loved and secure. If you find yourself dishing out negative feedback often, try and think about the effect it’s having on them. Not only is it damaging, but they’ll also learn undesirable words and say it to others.

• Nodding, smiling and cuddling your baby, speaks a thousand words. When they start to babble, repeat their babbling back to them. Tell them often, “I love you.”
  

• Your toddler and young child need to hear your praise. Use words like, “Clever boy/girl, well done, wonderful, I’m so proud of you, thank you, please, you can do it and you’re the best, etc.” Give lots of hugs, pats on the back and smiles. 
  

• Starting this routine of positive speaking early in their life is setting a solid groundwork for their future. What you feed them with as they’re growing, is what they’ll produce when they’re older. Positivity produces positivity and negativity produces negativity. In other words, if you plant an apple tree, you’ll get apples. It won’t produce oranges. 
  

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with tolerance, they learn to be patient.
If children live with encouragement they learn to be confident.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with honesty, they learn what truth is.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live to love and be loved.
(Anonymous)

3.  Understanding
“Understanding: children follow instructions involving several ideas or actions. They answer ‘how’ and ‘why’ questions about their experiences and in response to stories or events.” ~ EYFS Statutory Framework 2012 (PDF)

Children will ask a lot of ‘how’ and ‘why’ questions. That’s how they learn to communicate. By interacting with them, you’ll understand what they want or what they’re trying to say. And they’ll understand you.

• Use actions with words when you’re talking to your baby. For example, wave your hands when you’re saying, ‘bye, bye’ so they can connect the words with the action.
  

• Although your toddler understands when you speak, they can’t explain what they’re trying to say to you. Be patient, and look for clues. 
  

“A 28-month-old is at the park.  She is pointing urgently at something and saying to her grandfather, “Derl!  Derl!  Derl!”  He says, “I’m sorry, sweetie, I don’t understand.  Could you say it again?”   She continues to point, and repeats herself a number of times.  Finally, her grandfather says, “Oh, the squirrel.  Yes, I see him up there in the tree!”  This toddler is learning that her loved ones will “hang in there” and work hard to understand her attempts to communicate.” ~ www.zerotothree.org 

• If you’re teaching your child to wash their hands after a visit to the toilet, display a picture of someone washing their hands, to help them understand. And reinforce what you’re saying by telling them, ‘Wash your hands please.’
  

4.  Listening is more than just hearing
“Listening and attention: children listen attentively in a range of situations. They listen to stories, accurately anticipating key events and respond to what they hear with relevant comments, questions or actions. They give their attention to what others say and respond appropriately, while engaged in another activity.” ~ EYFS Statutory Framework 2012 (PDF)

Do you know it’s easy to hear, but harder to listen? Hearing is one of your 5 senses. Your ears pick up the vibrations of sounds as you hear. But, when you actively listen, you pay attention to what’s being said. And you’re able to respond appropriately.

You can help your child to be a good listener by really listening to them. Don’t switch off when they speak to you. Otherwise, you’re sending out a message that listening isn't important.

Show them what it’s like to be a good listener. Listening is a crucial part of their learning, at nursery, school, college, university and throughout their adult life.

A baby communicates mostly by crying. When you respond to their crying, you’re communicating with them. It reassures them that you understand they need something.

• Listen to their cooing, make eye contact and smile with them. Repeat words and phrases, so they’ll recognise and get used to different sounds. Talk to them throughout the day. It doesn't matter whether they understand you or not.

• Although your toddler will have a wide vocabulary, they’re not able to pronounce words properly. So, when they speak, don’t be tempted to correct their grammar. Respond by nodding and saying simple words of agreement. Don’t tap your feet and sigh at them. Be patient and wait for them to finish their sentences. 

•  If you have an older child, play listening games like, ‘Simon said…’ You can get the full instructions for playing the game by clicking this link: http://www.education.com/activity/article/simon/ 


5.  Mirror good habits by paying attention

“Early Learning Goal: Children listen attentively in a range of situations. They listen to stories, accurately anticipating key events and respond to what they hear with relevant comments, questions or actions. They give their attention to what others say and respond appropriately, while engaged in another activity.” ~ Development Matters in the Early Years Foundation Stage (PF)

Paying attention means more than just sitting with your child. It’s about listening, talking and responding to them. Giving them your undivided attention will reap benefits for the whole family. In addition, when you pay close attention, you’ll learn more about your child and the best way to raise them.

• Play games like "peekaboo" with your baby; take them out for walks and spend time just playing with them. 

• On the way home from nursery, ask your child about their day. Find out what they learnt, etc. Pay attention to what they say and give feedback. Also, tell them about your day. 

• Toddlers love chatting. Even though you might not understand what they’re saying, listen attentively to them. When carrying out household chores, talk about it. Tell your child what you’re doing. 
  

In conclusion…
Communication is a two way thing. It’s about speaking, listening, understanding and paying attention to your child without any distractions. 15 minutes out of your day to focus on them is well worth the effort. If you’re willing to take the time to develop those vital skills in them, you’ll end up with a confident child. Furthermore, you’re investing love in their future by showing you care about their development.

Over to you. We would love to hear your views…
Do you think it’s important to communicate with your child?
How do you communicate with them?
Can you add anything else you do, that’s not on this list?

If you found this article helpful, please share it on Twitter and Facebook. And encourage other parents to read and benefit from it.

Let’s admit it. Your life would be chaotic without a regular routine.

Imagine this. The alarm goes off. You turn it off and roll over. After sleeping for another hour or two, you get out of bed. Then you stroll to work halfway through the day. You come home late, and cook dinner when the kids should be in bed. As for the housework, you keep putting it off till the house is messy.

So, what’s the solution? Having a daily routine will make your household organised.

A routine is a regular pattern of events that takes place daily. To get your child in that daily pattern, you should have a set mealtime, sleep time, bath time, wake-up time, play time and quality family time together.

A regular routine does wonders for your child. It sets them up for a healthy balanced lifestyle.

They look to you for security. That security comes when they have a set pattern as part of their day-to-day life. It makes them feel in control. There are other benefits too. They develop good habits, organisational skills and have less temper tantrums.

Are you aware that regular routines and learning complement each other? That’s why the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS) encourages routines as a standard part of your child’s life. According to the report, “The parents can help children by providing recognisable and predictable routines. These help children to predict and make connections in their experiences.” ~ Characteristics of Effective Learning (creating an thinking critically) Enabling Environments - (EYFS).

You also play an important role in the development of their emotional, personal and social skills. You can do this by, “providing familiar, predictable routines, including opportunities to help with appropriate tasks, e.g. dusting, setting tables or putting toys away.” ~ Personal, Social and Emotional Development (30-50 months) Enabling Environment (what adults could provide) - (EYFS).

Let’s look at how to develop some of the most important routines:

A sleep routine
A study carried out on more than 10,000 children by The University College London identified that irregular bedtimes have a negative effect on their health and behaviour.

“Children who do not have a regular bedtime are more likely to suffer behavioural problems, according to new research. Erratic bedtimes can cause a similar effect to jet lag and the longer youngsters go without regular bedtimes, the greater the impact on their behaviour, experts found. They believe going to bed at different times could disrupt natural body rhythms and cause sleep deprivation. In turn, this undermines the way the brain matures and the ability to regulate some behaviours.” ~ The Daily Mail.co.uk

The study also found that children (aged 3 to 5) who settled into a regular bedtime pattern showed an improvement in their behaviour.

Professor Yvonne Kelly, from UCL's department of epidemiology and public health stated, “We know that early child development has profound influences on health and well-being across the life course. It follows that disruptions to sleep, especially if they occur at key times in development, could have important lifelong impacts on health.”

If your child goes to bed late and has to get up early for nursery, they’ll be tired the next day. They’ll find it hard to concentrate at nursery. And they will probably be grouchy and whiny.

“Children are creatures of habit and very much depend on a routine to feel secure and function well. Kids fall apart when you change their sleep schedule. They need at least 12 hours.” ~ Bonnie Slade

Some older children don’t like to go to bed early. They’ll do all they can to stay up. For some reason, they think they’ll miss out by going to bed. Watching TV is a much more appealing activity at nights.

That’s why it’s best to start a sleep routine when they’re a few months old. Have a set time for them to go to bed each night. And stick to it. Read them a book in bed or tell them a nice story to get them settled.

When they do the same ritual night after night, it will eventually become a part of them. They’ll know what to expect. And in the end they’ll stop fussing so much. And you’ll be less stressed.

Bath time and teeth brushing routine
Does your child enjoy bath time? A lot of children resist this time. They try all the tricks they can, to avoid getting in the bath. The harder you try, the more stressed you get. So, what do you do? 

Make it fun for them. If you've got a baby or toddler, put colourful bath toys in the water. If you haven’t got any, be creative. What do you have in the kitchen that you can use? Something like a measuring jug to scoop up water will keep them amused.

Get them involved in the preparation process. Allow them to choose their pyjamas or nightdress. Let them decide which toys they want to play with. They can also get their towel ready for when they come out of the bath. Children love it when you include them in activities. It makes them feel important. They’ll look forward to bath time, if you make them a part of the routine.

Did you know you can start brushing your baby’s teeth as soon as they come through? Some babies cut their first tooth at 4 months old.

To clean their first teeth, wet a small piece of gauze. Squeeze out the excess water and wipe the plaque from their teeth and gums. When they develop more teeth, use a small, soft toothbrush with a couple of rows. Brush their teeth when they wake up in the morning. And at the end of the day before they go to bed. Your baby will get used to  this habit and it will become a part of their bath time routine.

A regular bath time and teeth brushing routine, is the start of their journey towards developing personal health hygiene.

Wake-up time routine
Some children are naturally early risers. Others will roll over and pull the covers over their heads because they want to stay in bed.

It’s important to start a morning routine with your child. You could create a chart of the morning activities. Write down the sequence of things they need to do after they wake up. And have a set time for waking them up.

If your child hasn’t started reading yet, use pictures instead of words. For example, a picture of a tube of toothpaste will mean ‘time to brush your teeth’. So, the plan could be, after waking up, brush your teeth, wash your face and hands (or have a bath if that’s what you prefer), get dressed, have breakfast and then travel to the nursery.

Reward them for cooperating. Give them a star to put on their chart. At the end of the week, buy them their favourite treat for being good by following the routine. It will put a smile on their face and motivate them to carry on.

Meal time routine
There’s a saying, ‘The family that eats together, stays together.’ Having meals around the table (with toddlers in their high chair) is a lovely bonding family time.

To make this routine run smoothly, let your child know that dinner will be ready 5 minutes before you serve the food. That will give them enough time to wash their hands. Also, encourage them to help with getting the utensils ready before they sit down.

As part of this routine, your older child can help with the cooking (a simple meal) once or twice a week. It’s best to stick to the same days. To make your toddler feel involved, give them a wooden spoon and an old  pot to play with.

Cooking will develop their learning skills. It will also help them to get used to cooking. But keep them away from the cooker, hot food, hot pots, hot water, sharp utensils and anything else that can hurt them.

Use this time for an opportunity to develop good nutritional habits. Introduce healthy food as part of their diet from an early age. Put vegetables on your plate and their’s as well. Make it look pretty by combining peas, sweet corn, carrots and cauliflower. These colours look attractive on a plate. Encourage them to try it. Even if it’s only a few bites.

By sticking to this routine daily, they’ll know when it’s dinner time.

Play time routine
This isn't about restricting your child to a particular time to play. It’s about you playing with them to help their learning development. During play time you can incorporate reading to your child, teaching them the alphabet and showing them how to count.

In an article, ‘What is a Play Routine?’ Kimberly Scanlon talks about the benefits. She said, “A play routine is a purposeful way of playing and interacting with a child that follows a simple sequence. It involves predictability, repetition, and of course, lots of fun, Many toddlers like knowing what to expect because it gives them a sense of comfort, security and control. When toddlers can anticipate what comes next, they are most likely to socially interact and communicate. Having a routine implies that there is some repetition. Also, repetition is not boring to toddlers. Have you ever noticed that your child likes to read the same book over and over again?” You can read the rest of the article here: www.mytoddlertalks.com

For young babies, playtime should be adapted to suit appropriate stages of their development, as quoted in the EYFS. “Engage in playful interactions that encourage young babies to respond to, or mimic, adults. Follow the baby’s lead by repeating vocalisations, mirroring movements and showing the baby that you are ‘listening’ fully. Notice when babies turn away, signalling their need for less stimulation.” ~ Development Matters in The Early years Foundation Stage

Having regular play times, will strengthen your relationship with your child.

Family time routine
It’s important to take time out to focus on your child and have fun. If you’re out at work all day, family time is when you can give them your full attention. Quality time spent together will make your relationships stronger.

Set a day or few hours  aside each week to treat yourselves. It could be a trip to a museum, adventure park, the cinema, eating out, bowling or a walk to the park. Staying at home is fun as well. Read a book together, watch a DVD, make popcorn, play a game or whatever.

Use this time to relax and let your hair down.  Reawaken your childhood. Laugh and enjoy yourself. Let your child see how much you love being with them. It’s essential that you make this a regular time to get together each week. Children grow fast. Cherish each moment you can with them.

Washing hands routine
Bacteria live in places like bathrooms. It’s important to show your child how to wash their hands after every visit to the toilet. Explain to them that bacteria is not nice. Encourage them to wash their hands with soap and water and dry them with a clean towel.

To make it fun for them and develop a routine, make a poster and put it in the bathroom where they can see it.

Here is an example poster below:

                                     1.  Turn on the tap.
                  2.  Put your hands under the tap to wet them.
              3.  Rub the soap over the front and back of your hands.
           4.  Put your hands under the tap and wash all the soap off.
                                     5.  Turn off the taps.
                         6.  Dry your hands with a towel.

Routines are for organising members of the family. Each person will know what to do, when they should do  it, how often and the order in which it should be done. However, routines shouldn’t be set in stone. Review them regularly to make sure they still suit your family. As your child grows, you might have to juggle the routines around. There will also be a time when they’ll be old enough to look after themselves. And take on more responsibilities. You also have to make allowances for major changes like a new baby, new job or moving house. 

Please read and think about the questions below. We would love to hear your answers.

·         Do you think having a regular routine can make a difference in your
        child’s behaviour?

·         Will it help them learn better at nursery?

·         Will it make your life less stressful?

·         Can you add anything else to this list?

Did you know that you’re the number one person in your child’s life? Apart from being their parents, you’re also their teacher. They learn a lot from you. They learn when you’re talking to them, when you’re playing with them and when you stick to regular routines with them. Another important stage of their learning takes place when you support what they’re learning at nursery. It’s known as partnership.

You may wonder what partnership means. “Partnership involves parents, families and practitioners working together to benefit children. Each recognises respects and values what the other does and says. Partnership involves responsibility on both sides.” Taken from The Early Childhood Curriculum Framework

Your child’s nursery has a responsibility to encourage you to reinforce what they’re being taught at nursery. By supporting that, you’re also showing your child that there’s a connection between nursery and home life. Therefore, there won’t be any conflicts or confusion for them. Because, you’ll be backing up what they’re learning and applying it to their everyday life.

Your child will benefit from this partnership. It will boost their confidence and have a positive impact on their development. Also, you’ll feel in control and your child will be more settled. Therefore, it will make family life relaxed and enjoyable.

You naturally have an interest in the growth and development of your child from birth. Your nursery also has a keen interest in their progress and development. Together you share a joint interest in the welfare of your child.

According to The Early Years Foundation Stage, “Close working between early years practitioners and parents is vital for the identification of children’s learning needs and to ensure a quick response to any area of particular difficulty. Parents and families are central to a child’s wellbeing and practitioners should support this important relationship by sharing information and offering support for extending learning in the home.”

The report also states that when parents and practitioners work together, it has a positive influence on the development and learning process of your child.

The case study below is taken from page 16 of ‘A Know How Guide’ (EYFS Framework)

First steps in building parental partnership 

“Jackson is 2 years and 3 months old. He began attending the Children’s Centre at the beginning of the term after his second birthday, as his family met the eligibility criteria for the extended free entitlement to early education at age two. His mother, Charlie, had Jackson shortly after leaving school. Charlie never seems very comfortable talking to the practitioners in the toddler room and prefers to hurry away as soon as possible. Jackson has settled in well, so his key person Ruth approaches Charlie to talk about the check and arrange a time to meet. Charlie looks visibly nervous and says that she would rather Jackson wasn’t assessed, as she doesn’t feel he can do that much yet and doesn’t want him to get a bad report while he is still so young.

Ruth chats with her setting manager, Liz, about how best to approach the check and meeting with Charlie and they agree that they first need to build the partnership with Charlie and her confidence in the setting. Ruth invites Charlie to come to collect Jackson slightly early the next day and watch him playing in the toddler room. She is reluctant, but agrees to come. The next day Charlie watches Jackson, through an internal window, as he explores a tray of dry sand with Ruth, rubbing it with his hands and drawing large circular shapes. She looks interested and mentions that he makes similar marks whenever he spills food on the table at home. Liz explains these marks are the first steps towards early writing and that these experiences, whether at home or at nursery, are very valuable for Jackson.  She encourages Charlie to bring in photographs of the marks he makes at home and loans the family a pack of mark-making materials.

Over the next couple of weeks Charlie shows Ruth some photographs of Jackson playing at home and brings in some of his mark-making which Ruth incorporates into Jackson’s Learning Journey. Charlie begins to open up to the nursery practitioners, staying for occasional chats at the beginning and end of sessions. She is much more receptive when Ruth raises the idea of the progress check and agrees to attend a meeting. Charlie is very pleased to hear that Ruth and Liz feel he is making good progress and that there are no areas of concern. She enjoys talking about some of the comments in his Learning Journey, commenting that he is just like that at home. ‟ At the meeting Ruth arranges to lend Charlie some books that Jackson has been enjoying at nursery and gives her some suggestions on how to share them with him at home. Charlie opens up and says that she was never very good at reading at school but really wants things to be better for her son. Ruth explains that some of the simple things she can do with Jackson at home, such as reading stories or drawing, will really help his progress later on at school. She encourages Charlie to talk as much as possible to the Children’s Centre staff, as it is by working together that they can achieve the best for Jackson.”

Ways of working in partnership with your child’s nursery

The benefits of working in partnership lay the foundation for your child to become an active learner, player or someone who enjoys exploring new things. It also develops their creative and critical thinking skills. 

A combination of observing, planning and assessment will stimulate your child’s curiosity and willingness to learn.

Mutual engagement between you and your child’s nursery will provide valuable information and improve learning in the following areas:

·  Observations

The nursery uses observations to understand your child’s interests, their achievements and actions. They also need you to provide observations about your child. The ongoing observations from both parties along with knowledge of your child will be used to determine learning priorities and support their learning.

·   Planning

Planning and guiding children’s activities are an important part of their learning journey. For this to be effective, you should think about the various ways children learn and mirror them at home.

3 Effective teaching and learning methods:

1.  Playing and exploring - children examine, check things out and have a shot at doing them.

2. Active learner - children focus on what they’re doing. If they run into problems they’ll keep on trying and they get enjoyment when they achieve.

3. Creating and thinking critically - Children have ideas of their own and come up with new ones. They make connections between ideas and plan a course of action for completing them.

As parents, you’re encouraged to take part in your child’s assessment procedures. It may be difficult for some of you. However, your child’s nursery will support you so you can develop a respectful relationship. Your child will benefit because they’ll feel more secure in an environment where trust and respect are mutually shared.

Three questions you can ask yourself to know whether you’re on track are:

•  Do I really know how much my child is learning when they’re at nursery?
• What interesting and fun things can I do with them to support their development and learning?
  
• What can I do to find out the role I should play to support my child’s learning at home?
  

By answering these questions you’ll know whether you’re working in partnership with your child’s nursery or not. If your child is happy, you’ll be happy and no doubt their nursery will also be happy. A good relationship with your childcare provider is essential for the well-being of your child.

Photo credit: Pixabay.com

Can you think of any other ways you can work in partnership with your child’s nursery? Please leave your comments in the box below. Also, please share this article with friends and family on Facebook and Twitter. Thanks for reading. 

When you react to your child’s  negative behaviour in a positive way, it encourages them  to understand their behaviour. It will help them see how it affects you, themselves and other people in their lives. Working on strategies to promote positive behaviour  shouldn't be done alone. By involving other people, they can support what you’re doing. Otherwise,  your child could get confused if others are using different tactics to yours.

In addition, working in agreement with your child’s nursery, and using the same strategies at home will help with the development of your child.

Don’t let stress control you

If you react to negative behaviour in a negative way, it will have negative consequences.

“Why don’t you shut your mouth and do as you’re told. You stupid child,” yelled a mum to her three year old daughter. She grabbed the toddler and slapped her on the leg.

The child shouted, “Go away.” She angrily slapped her mum back.

That scenario happens often between mothers and their young children. When you’re stressed, it’s easy to lash out at your child. Especially when you’re frustrated and they won’t listen to you, but carry on being naughty.

However, it’s not just their tantrums that can push you over the edge.

·         Maybe you’re tired from constant sleepless nights.

·         Your child always cries and whines.

·         They scream at you when you try to discipline them.

·         Your little one is destroying the house, pulling everything down and grinding chocolate or biscuit crumbs into the carpet.

On top of that you may be having a bad day.

What do you do? How do you handle the stress without resorting to hitting or screaming at your child?

If you don’t take action towards encouraging positive behaviour in your child, it may very well have bad consequences in the future.

“There is evidence to suggest that disruptive behaviours which are apparent in early childhood tend to persist and may become more severe in later years (Campbell and Ewing, 1990; Moffit, 1993; Pierce et al, 1999). An early study of parental perceptions (Richman, Stevenson and Graham, 1982) suggested that 60% of children with behavioural problems at age 3 will still be experiencing problems at age 8.” ~ Quote taken from a report ‘Perceptions of Young Children’s Behaviour’.

It won’t be easy. But for the sake of your child’s well-being and your sanity, you must take steps to encourage a change of behaviour.

Below are some of the things you can do:

1.  Try to avoid yelling and smacking

Babies and toddlers cry when they’re tired, hungry, over-stimulated, bored or for other reasons. They can’t express themselves in words, so they communicate by crying, moaning or behaving badly. Unless you understand what is going on with them, you could read the signs wrongly. You get irritated and either scream at them or smack them. They’ll react by crying louder.

Instead of shouting, try to find out why they’re misbehaving. Deal with whatever it is that’s upsetting them.

Let them know that you don’t like their naughtiness. Be clear. You don’t want them to think you don’t like them. Explain why their bad behaviour isn't nice. That way, they’ll recognise when they’re behaving negatively. With your help they’ll learn how to manage it better.

Replace yelling and smacking with love and hugs. Tell your child you love them often. Always show unconditional love. It shouldn't be only when they’re behaving nicely. Love shouldn't be used as a type of bribery.

2.  Mirror good behaviour by setting good examples

You are the role model for your child. They will do what they see you do. And say what you say.

“Remember that the most powerful reward of all is a smile and kind word.” (Cowley 2011)

Set good examples by speaking to them in a calm way. Don’t speak over them. Let  them understand  that it’s polite to take turns to speak.  Actively listen to them  when they’re speaking.  Don’t cut them short by telling them you’re too busy. Make time to have meaningful conversations with them.  Interacting with your child will make them feel loved and special. 

Say please and thank you to them and encourage them to do the same. Use positive body language around them. Smile with them. If you walk around looking angry and moody, they’ll do the same. When they do something wrong, tell them why it’s wrong.

This guide from the NSPCC is packed with useful information to help you promote positive behaviour in your child. Download the booklet by clicking on the link here:  Encouraging Better Behaviour: A Practical Guide to Positive Parenting.

3.  Control your anger

Getting angry is never the answer. In fact, it can be fatal. A lot of parents have lost control and hit their child with shocking consequences. Many have died or ended up in hospital with serious injuries. Venting your anger and feeling sorry afterwards is not the right way to promote positive behaviour.

“ Misbehaving children can cause a parent to become stressed and angry. Remember, if you are stressed or angry then your child may copy your behaviour. Becoming angry is not an effective way of disciplining your child. If you feel yourself becoming angry, try some simple techniques like taking several deep breaths, counting to 10, or leaving the room. If you feel that you cannot control your anger, then get help. Talk to someone about your problem or ask your doctor about anger management classes.” _ NSPCC

If you suffer from anger problems, this guide might also help you. Here is the link to download the booklet: Keeping Your Cool.

4.  Focus on the good and give praise

If you always react and focus on bad behaviour, they’ll keep repeating it. Plus, if you punish their wrong doings and don’t praise them for being good, you’ll damage their self-esteem. Positive reinforcements encourage independence and self-confidence. If you focus too much on their naughty behaviour, you’re indirectly telling them that is what gets your attention.

Make a habit of telling them that they’re good. It will make them feel good about themselves.

Even if it’s hard to see the little good they do, try to find it and praise them. Also, praise them in front of their teachers, friends and other members of the family.

I found an interesting article from a mum who uses the ‘being good’ technique. She always tells her children they’re good. She tells them that others say they’re good. She also gives them examples. But she makes up a lot of the examples to get her point across.

She explained further by saying, “Now I do take this with me wherever I go with my three boys. I put my mom's ways to the test nearly every day. And it works. It works before we go into the grocery store. It works before we sit down at a restaurant. It works when I know my kids are getting cranky hungry or cranky tired. I continuously find myself setting expectations for them like this wherever we go. Now I finally figured out, too, that it is totally made up. I make up that the people at the restaurant have probably "heard what good boys you are," so I expect that they will sit nicely waiting for their dinner. Then when the waitresses are impressed with how my boys may politely ask for their dinner, I say, "See! I knew you'd ask so nicely." It works. I guess I turn my made-up stories turn into real stories by making the expectations turn into reality.”

5. Give rewards for being good

You don’t have to go over-board by buying expensive presents or taking them away on holiday. Reward your child with simple things without spoiling them.

Some things you can use for rewards are:

·         A new book.

·         A treat at McDonald's or somewhere else they like going for a meal.

·         Baking a cake or making biscuits together.

·         A day out to the zoo or museum.

·         A new toy.

Another approach is to set rules and boundaries. Keep the rules simple and speak in a language they understand.  Reward your child when you see an improvement in their behaviour. However, don’t be too focused on just rewarding them when they’re sticking to the rules. Make it a habit so they don’t think they’ll only get treats when they’re being good.

Promoting positive behaviour will help your child develop self-confidence, independence, good social skills and manage self-control. Growing is about learning and experimenting, so demonstrate love and patience while you help to mould their character positively, rather than negatively. They’ll thank you for it when they’re older.

Photo credit: Free Digital Photos

Can you add to the list of ways to encourage positive behaviour in your child? Is there anything you do, that’s not on this list? Please share in the comments box below.

If you enjoyed this article, please share it on Facebook and Twitter so other parents can also enjoy it.

Christmas is an extremely busy time. There’s so much to do, presents to buy, food shopping, house cleaning, a Christmas tree to decorate, Christmas cards to post, preparations for family get togethers and more.  It can also be a stressful time. Especially when you have a baby or a young child to think about as well. They tend to get left behind, while you rush around with all the Christmas preparations.

It doesn’t have to be that way though. You can actually have fun with your child and include them in the preparations. All you need to do is to make some time to spend with them. I’m going to show you how to put some fun and enjoyment into your Christmas preparations with your child.

Some of the projects will require support when using tools. Teaching children the skills required to handle equipment safely falls within the Early Years Foundation Stage Guidance (EYFS). They encourage the development of skills by using tools.

Not only will you and your child have fun, but you’ll also be teaching them essential skills to help develop their awareness and more. Also, you’ll be carrying out an extension of what they learn at nursery. Since, they’re taught according to the guidelines of the EYFS.

The Early Years Foundation Stage states that we should “Teach children the skills they need to use equipment safely. For example, cutting with scissors or using tools. Begin to try out a range of tools and techniques safely. Provide a range of tools, for example, scissors, hole punch, glue spreader, cutter, knife and encourage children to handle them carefully. Use simple tools and techniques competently and appropriately. Select the tools and techniques they need to shape, assemble and join materials they are using. The ways that children make things, for example, a child might use a card, scissors, glue, string and a hole punch.”

Now for the fun part. I’ve listed some wonderful things for you and your child to do for Christmas. Some will require supervision. Others will need your explanation, guidance and encouragement to allow your child’s creativity to show.

                                       UNIQUE CHRISTMAS CARDS 
Potato Prints Christmas Cards
You can have so much enjoyment preparing for potato printing with your child. It’s also easy and suitable for a toddler to do the stamping. Nevertheless, an older child can be shown how to do most of this activity, with supervision.

This fun project involves using a knife. However, there is a knife for children aged three and above to use that won’t cut their fingers. It’s called the KiddiKutter. It has rounded serration of the stainless blade which makes it safe for them to use. 

The KiddiKutter knife is suitable for them to use to cut a potato.


 Things you’ll need:
·   Blank cards
·  Christmas cookie cutters
·  Potato
·  KiddiKutter knife
·  Acrylic paint and paintbrushes

You will need to cut the potato in half and insert the cookie cutter into it. Go about 1cm deep. Then cut a 1cm slice into the potato. Afterwards, show your older child how to use the KiddiKutter knife to carefully cut around the cookie cutter. Then get them to remove the slice and the cookie cutter. They’ll be left with a lovely Christmas stamp, the shape of the cookie cutter.

                            Here is an example of a star stamp that’s been cut out of a potato:

Give your child the paintbrush and some paint in a plastic container. Show them how to cover the stamp with paint. Make sure they use the brush to cover it evenly all over. For a toddler, you might have to paint the stamp for them. It depends on how advanced they are.
Finally, let them stamp onto the blank cards. They can experiment with different colours, or mix colours together to get an unusual effect.

Marble Print Christmas Cards
This is a fun way for your child to use different skills and produce beautiful Christmas cards. You supply the resources and they can do the rest themselves. All you need to do is show them or explain to them how to do it.

Things you’ll need:

• Blank cards
• An A4 Sheet of paper
• Red and green tempera paint in a plastic cup (red & green paints are the traditional Christmas colours)
• Scissors
• A large box or plastic container
• Glue stick
• Masking tape

To make the Christmas cards, let your child cut out shapes like stars or triangles. Finally, they should stick the shapes onto the blank card using the glue stick.

These unique handmade Christmas cards can be given to their nursery teachers and family members. 

Baby’s First Finger Painting Picture
The first Christmas for your baby should be one you both remember. What better way to do that than to let them finger paint a picture.

Your baby’s work of art will also develop fine motor and writing skills. The EYFS Guidance states these are some of the “Ways in which children begin to develop fine motor skills, for example, the way they use their fingers.  Encourage children to handle and manipulate a variety of media and implements, for example finger-paint and brushes.”

This is a great chance for them to experiment with different colours and develop their imagination. Although you’ll be making the paint for your baby, they should be encouraged to do the finger painting by themselves.

“Encourage babies to make marks in paint or with thick crayons. Provide opportunities for children to sometimes use all their fingers or the whole hand, for example with finger-paints or cornflour, and sometimes use just one finger, for example when making patterns in damp sand or paint.” ~ The EYFS Guidance

Babies instinctively put everything in their mouths. Therefore, the paint they use has to be safe. The safest paint for babies are edible ones made from vegetables and fruits. This activity is suitable for babies from six months old.

Things you’ll need to make the paint:
·    Carrots for the orange paint
·   Broccoli for the green paint
·   Strawberries for the red paint
·   A food blender
·   Saucepan or steamer
·   Vegetable peeler
·   Baby’s high chair
·   Sheet of paper
Cut the carrots and broccoli and put in a steamer or saucepan, separately. Cook till they’re very soft. When cooked, put each in the blender and blend until the vegetables are smooth. You might need to add some water to get the vegetable to  form into a paste.
Add the strawberries to the blender with a small amount of water. Blend until smooth.
When the paint is ready, put some on your baby’s high chair. Encourage them to explore and have fun with the different colours. To make the picture, get a sheet of paper and put it on the high chair. Let your baby paint on it using their fingers. After they’ve finished, you’ll have their first painting ready to frame for a Christmas present. Or a keepsake to remember their first Christmas.

For toddlers and young children, use the method below to make the finger paints. Supply them with a sheet of paper. Let them be creative and come up with their own masterpiece.

        Things you need:
·         1 cup of corn flour
·       1 cup of cold water
·       3 cups of boiling water
·       Liquid food colouring
·       Sheet of paper
Add 1 cup of cold water to the corn flour and mix together in a bowl. Slowly add the boiled water to the mixture of corn flour and mix together. Transfer to a saucepan over low heat. Stir until the mixture is smooth like custard. Add some liquid food colouring to colour the paint. When the paint cools down, store them in clean jars ready for your child to have fun with. 

Another idea for an older child is to get them to decorate one or two photo frames. 
Buy inexpensive plain wooden photo frames. You can find these in a Pound shop. While you’re there, pick up some sparkling decorations. Or you can buy some from your local craft store. You also need a few different colours of non toxic paints and non-toxic glue. Remove the glass from the frame. Let your child paint the frame. Put  it on newspaper to protect your surface/table. Encourage them to be creative by painting it the way they want it to look. After the paint dries, show them how to decorate the frame using the glue to stick down the sparkling decorations. Finally, put a recent photo of them in it. This will make a beautiful present for their grandparents or other family members.

Lovely Christmas Tree Decorations
When you’re out walking, why not collect some pine cones together. There should be lots of them on the ground. Take some home and wash them.

Give your child some coloured glitter glue. The ones in tubes will be easier for them to use. They should use the glue to paint the pine cones with lots of pretty colours. Then leave them to dry.

Afterwards, get them to tie a piece of cotton or coloured string to make loops at the top of the cones.  It will put a smile on your child’s face to see their lovely work of art displayed on the Christmas tree. That will be their contribution of beautiful handmade decorations.

Click on this link to download some lovely blank Christmas tree decorations. Print them off on card. Get your child to use some crayons to colour them in. Next, they should  use a pair of safe scissors to cut them out. Then give them a hole puncher to make a hole at the top of each. Finally, let your child string cotton thread or coloured strings through the top, then tie a knot and hang them on the Christmas tree.

·         Ideas for Christmas presents for your child

There’s so much to choose from. If you’re working you probably don’t have much time to shop for presents. The Croydon Advertiser listed some places where you can buy affordable presents online.

·         Click on this link and check out the presents for toddlers.

·         This link is for the older child.

Use this period before Christmas to make your baby or child feel loved and appreciated. It’s a special season when all the family gets together to celebrate. So, don't forget to share with the family what you and your baby or child did together.

Did you know that it’s never too early to develop self-confidence in your child? Babies who are nurtured and cared for feels secure and loved. Therefore, positive self-worth starts being developed from that stage. On the other hand, high-demand babies who are neglected will become confused. Consequently, they’ll feel neglected which in turn will affect their self-confidence.

Self-worth is in the same category as self-confidence. If your child has poor self-worth it will reflect  in their behaviour at nursery and school.  There’s also a danger of that negative feeling continuing till they’re adults, unless it’s addressed. Poor self-worth will manifest as behaviour problems, an inability to relate positively to others and even issues connecting with their partners in marriage.

You can help your child to develop self-confidence by following the advice below:

1.  Make playing with your child a daily activity

Did you know that you can learn a lot from your child by playing with them? It also improves their behaviour and makes them feel valued. Playtime should be a regular activity or normal part of you and your child’s day-to-day activity. Look at it as a valuable investment in their future. It’s more meaningful when you let them choose the games during playtime instead of you setting down the rules of what they should do. They’ll be more focused, learn more and their self-worth will be increased.

The National Center for Infants stress the importance of play by stating that, “Play is how children learn about themselves, other people, and the world around them. Through play, children also learn how to solve problems and develop confidence.”

Playing with your child is a good way for you to bond. Furthermore, it helps you to unwind and relax after a hard day’s work.

2.  Get involved in your child’s education

According to the Department for Education a good early years home learning environment, and good quality preschool are two of  the things that improves a child’s cognitive and social outcomes. The report continues to state that, “We have found overwhelming evidence that children’s life chances are most heavily predicated on their development in the first five years of life. It is family background, parental education, good parenting and the opportunities for learning and development in those crucial years that together matter more to children than money, in determining whether their potential is realised in adult life”[1].

Therefore your input into your child’s education at home plays  a vital role in their intellectual and social development. Reading to them will help develop their literacy skills. Family learning also benefits both child and parents as it develops reading, writing and numeracy skills.

Another report from the Department for Children, Schools and Families states, “Most children have two main educators in their lives – their parents and their teachers. Parents are the prime educators until the child attends an early years setting or starts school and they remain a major influence on their children’s learning throughout school and beyond. The school and parents both have crucial roles to play.” Therefore, it’s important to set a regular time daily for studying with your child.

3.  Encourage your child to develop new skills

When a baby is able to hold a toy or a child starts walking it’s an achievement for them. It’s a new skill they’ve developed and that increases their self-confidence. You can give your child the opportunity to learn and master new skills. Encourage them to tie their shoe lace, dress themselves, put their plate away after eating or learn to read a new book. Those skills give them a sense of accomplishing something and it will make them feel successful.

There will be times when they’ll get discouraged or frustrated because they can’t complete a task. But don’t give up on them, keep encouraging them. For each goal they achieve they’ll stick at it and try to do better next time. Today they may learn to put on their socks, next week they’ll try to put on their jumper. Praise them each time they accomplish a goal. But don’t just praise the results, praise the effort as well.

Those basic goals will set them up to achieve bigger and more complex goals as they get older. Developing new skills will help them identify their strengths and deal with challenges.

While your child is learning and developing new skills, you need to make sure they’re supervised to avoid any accidents.

4.  Mirror positive behaviour

“Your child has special brain cells called "mirror" neurons. Mirror neurons allow children to reflect what they see you doing in their brains so they can copy or imitate how you behave.  Your child can actually feel or mirror the same emotions that you are feeling!  The best way to teach children good behaviors is to model good behavior.  Sharing, being kind, being respectful, and giving praise are all ways to teach your children how you expect them to behave.” ~ Taken from Multiplying Connections

Imagine that you’re a mirror and when your child looks into it they see themselves. They’ll do what you do because you’re their role model. If you want them to say please and thank you, say it to them as well. Don’t scream at them if you don’t want them to scream back at you.

They will copy your words and actions. Choose the words you use to them and others around you carefully. Swearing in front of your child will give them the impression that it’s OK to swear. It’s the same with hitting. Children who get smacked for being naughty, usually  hit other children at nursery or school.

If you value and accept your child for who they are, they’ll value and accept themselves as well. They’ll feel secure, open to expressing themselves freely and be confident around you and others.

5.  Demonstrate affection parenting

Show love and affection to your child often. It should start from when they’re babies. Demonstrations of love and affection will send a message to their subconscious they they’re worthy and important. According to BBC.co.uk parenting “Letting your toddler know you love him by showing affection with lots of hugs, kisses and kind words,” develops self-esteem. The article also added that you should tell them often that ‘you love them.’

“Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.” ~ Bill Ayers

Correct your child’s behaviour not the child. For example, if they threw a ball indoors correct them by saying, “Please don’t throw a ball in the house. It could break something. Balls are toys to be played with outside.” Don’t say, “You naughty boy/girl. Why can’t you behave yourself and be good.”

You shouldn’t show love with strings attached by getting angry when they do something wrong and praising them when they do something good. Withdrawing love demonstrates that they’re not accepted unless they’re good. It will damage them and make them feel inadequate. That in turn will lead to low self-worth.

Child’s Trend Data Bank carried out a survey about parental worth and affection. Their findings were interesting. This was taken from the data, “Many studies have shown that warmth in the parent-child relationship is related to positive outcomes for children. Higher self-esteem, better parent-child communication, and fewer psychological and behavior problems have been linked to warmth and affection between parent and child.1 Parental warmth and affection is also positively related to adolescent academic competence and negatively related to teen pregnancy and associations with deviant peers.2 Parental warmth is even found to encourage children's use of social support and proactive, problem-focused coping styles.3 Conversely, receiving insufficient levels of parental support can foster feelings of alienation, expressions of hostility and aggression, diminished self-esteem, and antisocial and risk behaviors.4”

6.  Don’t label your child

Labels are dangerous. They stick. If you tell your child that ‘They’re stupid, they’re naughty,  they’re no good or they can’t do anything,’ they’ll believe it. They trust you and believe what you tell them because they don’t know any better.

An article from CNN.com highlighted how some of us still remember the destructive labels our parents tarnished us with. “The worst ones cut dangerously deep. Many a parent can still vividly, and bitterly, remember when her own parent said something like ‘You’re so hopeless” (or ‘lazy’ or ‘stupid’).”

If you can still remember those harmful words years after they were said, don’t you think they’ll be embedded in your child’s memory as well? Labels can shape us to become the adults of what we were called. How many times have you seen a child cry for no apparent reason? If you look at their history you’ll find that they were called the ‘cry baby’ as a toddler. That label stuck and they turned into a crybaby.

Negative labels can destroy your child’s self-esteem. Remember, your words are powerful so use them wisely with your child.

7.  Allow room for self-expression from your child

Babies can and do express their feelings freely. But as a child grows older we tend to quash their natural ability for self-expression. When they’re upset and cry, instead of finding out what the problem is, you tell them to “Shut up and stop crying.” Sometimes you may not do it intentionally. Maybe you’ve had a hard day and you’re tired. So, instead of sitting down with them and allowing them to express their feelings, you react angrily instead.

However, the danger of too much control of your child’s emotions is that they may suppress their feelings. They may also believe that their feelings are not worthwhile. They could end up feeling worthless. That emotion may very well become a part of their life as they grow.

On the other hand, there should be a balance between controlling and expressing feelings. Your child should know the difference between destructive emotional outbursts and being allowed to express their emotions calmly. Being able to stay calm during times of stress is a sign of maturity. This skill is well developed in a child who learn positive self-expression.

In conclusion

We’ve looked at various strategies that can be used to develop self-confidence in your child. A confident child will turn into a confident adult. When you’re confident you’ll live a better quality of life and impact others around you in a positive way.