Did you know that it’s never too early to develop self-confidence in your child? Babies who are nurtured and cared for feels secure and loved. Therefore, positive self-worth starts being developed from that stage. On the other hand, high-demand babies who are neglected will become confused. Consequently, they’ll feel neglected which in turn will affect their self-confidence.
Self-worth is in the same category as self-confidence. If your child has poor self-worth it will reflect in their behaviour at nursery and school. There’s also a danger of that negative feeling continuing till they’re adults, unless it’s addressed. Poor self-worth will manifest as behaviour problems, an inability to relate positively to others and even issues connecting with their partners in marriage.
You can help your child to develop self-confidence by following the advice below:
1. Make playing with your child a daily activity
Did you know that you can learn a lot from your child by playing with them? It also improves their behaviour and makes them feel valued. Playtime should be a regular activity or normal part of you and your child’s day-to-day activity. Look at it as a valuable investment in their future. It’s more meaningful when you let them choose the games during playtime instead of you setting down the rules of what they should do. They’ll be more focused, learn more and their self-worth will be increased.
The National Center for Infants stress the importance of play by stating that, “Play is how children learn about themselves, other people, and the world around them. Through play, children also learn how to solve problems and develop confidence.”
Playing with your child is a good way for you to bond. Furthermore, it helps you to unwind and relax after a hard day’s work.
2. Get involved in your child’s education
According to the Department for Education a good early years home learning environment, and good quality preschool are two of the things that improves a child’s cognitive and social outcomes. The report continues to state that, “We have found overwhelming evidence that children’s life chances are most heavily predicated on their development in the first five years of life. It is family background, parental education, good parenting and the opportunities for learning and development in those crucial years that together matter more to children than money, in determining whether their potential is realised in adult life”[1].
Therefore your input into your child’s education at home plays a vital role in their intellectual and social development. Reading to them will help develop their literacy skills. Family learning also benefits both child and parents as it develops reading, writing and numeracy skills.
Another report from the Department for Children, Schools and Families states, “Most children have two main educators in their lives – their parents and their teachers. Parents are the prime educators until the child attends an early years setting or starts school and they remain a major influence on their children’s learning throughout school and beyond. The school and parents both have crucial roles to play.” Therefore, it’s important to set a regular time daily for studying with your child.
3. Encourage your child to develop new skills
When a baby is able to hold a toy or a child starts walking it’s an achievement for them. It’s a new skill they’ve developed and that increases their self-confidence. You can give your child the opportunity to learn and master new skills. Encourage them to tie their shoe lace, dress themselves, put their plate away after eating or learn to read a new book. Those skills give them a sense of accomplishing something and it will make them feel successful.
There will be times when they’ll get discouraged or frustrated because they can’t complete a task. But don’t give up on them, keep encouraging them. For each goal they achieve they’ll stick at it and try to do better next time. Today they may learn to put on their socks, next week they’ll try to put on their jumper. Praise them each time they accomplish a goal. But don’t just praise the results, praise the effort as well.
Those basic goals will set them up to achieve bigger and more complex goals as they get older. Developing new skills will help them identify their strengths and deal with challenges.
While your child is learning and developing new skills, you need to make sure they’re supervised to avoid any accidents.
4. Mirror positive behaviour
“Your child has special brain cells called "mirror" neurons. Mirror neurons allow children to reflect what they see you doing in their brains so they can copy or imitate how you behave. Your child can actually feel or mirror the same emotions that you are feeling! The best way to teach children good behaviors is to model good behavior. Sharing, being kind, being respectful, and giving praise are all ways to teach your children how you expect them to behave.” ~ Taken from Multiplying Connections
Imagine that you’re a mirror and when your child looks into it they see themselves. They’ll do what you do because you’re their role model. If you want them to say please and thank you, say it to them as well. Don’t scream at them if you don’t want them to scream back at you.
They will copy your words and actions. Choose the words you use to them and others around you carefully. Swearing in front of your child will give them the impression that it’s OK to swear. It’s the same with hitting. Children who get smacked for being naughty, usually hit other children at nursery or school.
If you value and accept your child for who they are, they’ll value and accept themselves as well. They’ll feel secure, open to expressing themselves freely and be confident around you and others.
5. Demonstrate affection parenting
Show love and affection to your child often. It should start from when they’re babies. Demonstrations of love and affection will send a message to their subconscious they they’re worthy and important. According to BBC.co.uk parenting “Letting your toddler know you love him by showing affection with lots of hugs, kisses and kind words,” develops self-esteem. The article also added that you should tell them often that ‘you love them.’
“Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.” ~ Bill Ayers
Correct your child’s behaviour not the child. For example, if they threw a ball indoors correct them by saying, “Please don’t throw a ball in the house. It could break something. Balls are toys to be played with outside.” Don’t say, “You naughty boy/girl. Why can’t you behave yourself and be good.”
You shouldn’t show love with strings attached by getting angry when they do something wrong and praising them when they do something good. Withdrawing love demonstrates that they’re not accepted unless they’re good. It will damage them and make them feel inadequate. That in turn will lead to low self-worth.
Child’s Trend Data Bank carried out a survey about parental worth and affection. Their findings were interesting. This was taken from the data, “Many studies have shown that warmth in the parent-child relationship is related to positive outcomes for children. Higher self-esteem, better parent-child communication, and fewer psychological and behavior problems have been linked to warmth and affection between parent and child.1 Parental warmth and affection is also positively related to adolescent academic competence and negatively related to teen pregnancy and associations with deviant peers.2 Parental warmth is even found to encourage children's use of social support and proactive, problem-focused coping styles.3 Conversely, receiving insufficient levels of parental support can foster feelings of alienation, expressions of hostility and aggression, diminished self-esteem, and antisocial and risk behaviors.4”
6. Don’t label your child
Labels are dangerous. They stick. If you tell your child that ‘They’re stupid, they’re naughty, they’re no good or they can’t do anything,’ they’ll believe it. They trust you and believe what you tell them because they don’t know any better.
An article from CNN.com highlighted how some of us still remember the destructive labels our parents tarnished us with. “The worst ones cut dangerously deep. Many a parent can still vividly, and bitterly, remember when her own parent said something like ‘You’re so hopeless” (or ‘lazy’ or ‘stupid’).”
If you can still remember those harmful words years after they were said, don’t you think they’ll be embedded in your child’s memory as well? Labels can shape us to become the adults of what we were called. How many times have you seen a child cry for no apparent reason? If you look at their history you’ll find that they were called the ‘cry baby’ as a toddler. That label stuck and they turned into a crybaby.
Negative labels can destroy your child’s self-esteem. Remember, your words are powerful so use them wisely with your child.
7. Allow room for self-expression from your child
Babies can and do express their feelings freely. But as a child grows older we tend to quash their natural ability for self-expression. When they’re upset and cry, instead of finding out what the problem is, you tell them to “Shut up and stop crying.” Sometimes you may not do it intentionally. Maybe you’ve had a hard day and you’re tired. So, instead of sitting down with them and allowing them to express their feelings, you react angrily instead.
However, the danger of too much control of your child’s emotions is that they may suppress their feelings. They may also believe that their feelings are not worthwhile. They could end up feeling worthless. That emotion may very well become a part of their life as they grow.
On the other hand, there should be a balance between controlling and expressing feelings. Your child should know the difference between destructive emotional outbursts and being allowed to express their emotions calmly. Being able to stay calm during times of stress is a sign of maturity. This skill is well developed in a child who learn positive self-expression.
In conclusion
We’ve looked at various strategies that can be used to develop self-confidence in your child. A confident child will turn into a confident adult. When you’re confident you’ll live a better quality of life and impact others around you in a positive way.
Self-worth is in the same category as self-confidence. If your child has poor self-worth it will reflect in their behaviour at nursery and school. There’s also a danger of that negative feeling continuing till they’re adults, unless it’s addressed. Poor self-worth will manifest as behaviour problems, an inability to relate positively to others and even issues connecting with their partners in marriage.
You can help your child to develop self-confidence by following the advice below:
1. Make playing with your child a daily activity
Did you know that you can learn a lot from your child by playing with them? It also improves their behaviour and makes them feel valued. Playtime should be a regular activity or normal part of you and your child’s day-to-day activity. Look at it as a valuable investment in their future. It’s more meaningful when you let them choose the games during playtime instead of you setting down the rules of what they should do. They’ll be more focused, learn more and their self-worth will be increased.
The National Center for Infants stress the importance of play by stating that, “Play is how children learn about themselves, other people, and the world around them. Through play, children also learn how to solve problems and develop confidence.”
Playing with your child is a good way for you to bond. Furthermore, it helps you to unwind and relax after a hard day’s work.
2. Get involved in your child’s education
According to the Department for Education a good early years home learning environment, and good quality preschool are two of the things that improves a child’s cognitive and social outcomes. The report continues to state that, “We have found overwhelming evidence that children’s life chances are most heavily predicated on their development in the first five years of life. It is family background, parental education, good parenting and the opportunities for learning and development in those crucial years that together matter more to children than money, in determining whether their potential is realised in adult life”[1].
Therefore your input into your child’s education at home plays a vital role in their intellectual and social development. Reading to them will help develop their literacy skills. Family learning also benefits both child and parents as it develops reading, writing and numeracy skills.
Another report from the Department for Children, Schools and Families states, “Most children have two main educators in their lives – their parents and their teachers. Parents are the prime educators until the child attends an early years setting or starts school and they remain a major influence on their children’s learning throughout school and beyond. The school and parents both have crucial roles to play.” Therefore, it’s important to set a regular time daily for studying with your child.
3. Encourage your child to develop new skills
When a baby is able to hold a toy or a child starts walking it’s an achievement for them. It’s a new skill they’ve developed and that increases their self-confidence. You can give your child the opportunity to learn and master new skills. Encourage them to tie their shoe lace, dress themselves, put their plate away after eating or learn to read a new book. Those skills give them a sense of accomplishing something and it will make them feel successful.
There will be times when they’ll get discouraged or frustrated because they can’t complete a task. But don’t give up on them, keep encouraging them. For each goal they achieve they’ll stick at it and try to do better next time. Today they may learn to put on their socks, next week they’ll try to put on their jumper. Praise them each time they accomplish a goal. But don’t just praise the results, praise the effort as well.
Those basic goals will set them up to achieve bigger and more complex goals as they get older. Developing new skills will help them identify their strengths and deal with challenges.
While your child is learning and developing new skills, you need to make sure they’re supervised to avoid any accidents.
4. Mirror positive behaviour
“Your child has special brain cells called "mirror" neurons. Mirror neurons allow children to reflect what they see you doing in their brains so they can copy or imitate how you behave. Your child can actually feel or mirror the same emotions that you are feeling! The best way to teach children good behaviors is to model good behavior. Sharing, being kind, being respectful, and giving praise are all ways to teach your children how you expect them to behave.” ~ Taken from Multiplying Connections
Imagine that you’re a mirror and when your child looks into it they see themselves. They’ll do what you do because you’re their role model. If you want them to say please and thank you, say it to them as well. Don’t scream at them if you don’t want them to scream back at you.
They will copy your words and actions. Choose the words you use to them and others around you carefully. Swearing in front of your child will give them the impression that it’s OK to swear. It’s the same with hitting. Children who get smacked for being naughty, usually hit other children at nursery or school.
If you value and accept your child for who they are, they’ll value and accept themselves as well. They’ll feel secure, open to expressing themselves freely and be confident around you and others.
5. Demonstrate affection parenting
Show love and affection to your child often. It should start from when they’re babies. Demonstrations of love and affection will send a message to their subconscious they they’re worthy and important. According to BBC.co.uk parenting “Letting your toddler know you love him by showing affection with lots of hugs, kisses and kind words,” develops self-esteem. The article also added that you should tell them often that ‘you love them.’
“Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.” ~ Bill Ayers
Correct your child’s behaviour not the child. For example, if they threw a ball indoors correct them by saying, “Please don’t throw a ball in the house. It could break something. Balls are toys to be played with outside.” Don’t say, “You naughty boy/girl. Why can’t you behave yourself and be good.”
You shouldn’t show love with strings attached by getting angry when they do something wrong and praising them when they do something good. Withdrawing love demonstrates that they’re not accepted unless they’re good. It will damage them and make them feel inadequate. That in turn will lead to low self-worth.
Child’s Trend Data Bank carried out a survey about parental worth and affection. Their findings were interesting. This was taken from the data, “Many studies have shown that warmth in the parent-child relationship is related to positive outcomes for children. Higher self-esteem, better parent-child communication, and fewer psychological and behavior problems have been linked to warmth and affection between parent and child.1 Parental warmth and affection is also positively related to adolescent academic competence and negatively related to teen pregnancy and associations with deviant peers.2 Parental warmth is even found to encourage children's use of social support and proactive, problem-focused coping styles.3 Conversely, receiving insufficient levels of parental support can foster feelings of alienation, expressions of hostility and aggression, diminished self-esteem, and antisocial and risk behaviors.4”
6. Don’t label your child
Labels are dangerous. They stick. If you tell your child that ‘They’re stupid, they’re naughty, they’re no good or they can’t do anything,’ they’ll believe it. They trust you and believe what you tell them because they don’t know any better.
An article from CNN.com highlighted how some of us still remember the destructive labels our parents tarnished us with. “The worst ones cut dangerously deep. Many a parent can still vividly, and bitterly, remember when her own parent said something like ‘You’re so hopeless” (or ‘lazy’ or ‘stupid’).”
If you can still remember those harmful words years after they were said, don’t you think they’ll be embedded in your child’s memory as well? Labels can shape us to become the adults of what we were called. How many times have you seen a child cry for no apparent reason? If you look at their history you’ll find that they were called the ‘cry baby’ as a toddler. That label stuck and they turned into a crybaby.
Negative labels can destroy your child’s self-esteem. Remember, your words are powerful so use them wisely with your child.
7. Allow room for self-expression from your child
Babies can and do express their feelings freely. But as a child grows older we tend to quash their natural ability for self-expression. When they’re upset and cry, instead of finding out what the problem is, you tell them to “Shut up and stop crying.” Sometimes you may not do it intentionally. Maybe you’ve had a hard day and you’re tired. So, instead of sitting down with them and allowing them to express their feelings, you react angrily instead.
However, the danger of too much control of your child’s emotions is that they may suppress their feelings. They may also believe that their feelings are not worthwhile. They could end up feeling worthless. That emotion may very well become a part of their life as they grow.
On the other hand, there should be a balance between controlling and expressing feelings. Your child should know the difference between destructive emotional outbursts and being allowed to express their emotions calmly. Being able to stay calm during times of stress is a sign of maturity. This skill is well developed in a child who learn positive self-expression.
In conclusion
We’ve looked at various strategies that can be used to develop self-confidence in your child. A confident child will turn into a confident adult. When you’re confident you’ll live a better quality of life and impact others around you in a positive way.
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