It happens to the best of us you know. Time is limited and you end up not doing the important things you should. One of those important things is communicating with your child.
But the “busyness” of life gets in the way…
Life these days is about multitasking. You take care of your baby or child, maybe you go to work or you’re a stay at home parent. You do the shopping, gardening, cooking, ironing, cleaning, the nursery runs, plus lots more during the day.
Sometimes it’s hard to find the time to communicate with your child.
It’s not because you don’t want to. There are just not enough hours in the day. So, they don’t get enough attention from you.
But communicating with your child is vital.
Don’t push them away like Nicola did to her son. “I used to tell my son, ‘not now’ or ‘go away’ when I was too tired to answer his questions, then I realised that I wasn’t helping him to learn.” ~ Listening to Children - NSPCC.
Did you know that it doesn’t have to be so hard? You can communicate with them while you’re doing your normal day-to-day activities. Or make time to devote to them so you can listen and talk to each other.
“Communication and language development involves giving children opportunities to experience a rich language environment; to develop their confidence and skills in expressing themselves; and to speak and listen in a range of situations.” ~ ~ EYFS Statutory Framework 2012 (PDF)
So, how do you make it a priority to communicate (I mean speak, listen, understand and pay attention) properly with them?
There are a number of ways you can incorporate communication in your everyday life.
1. The use of communication and language
“Language for Communication – is about how children become communicators. Learning to listen and speak emerges out of non-verbal communication, which includes facial expression, eye contact, and hand gesture. These skills develop as children interact with others, listen to and use language, extend their vocabulary and experience stories, songs, poems and rhymes.” ~ Early Years Matter
The first 5 years are crucial for your child’s communication development. That’s when they learn to speak by listening and repeating. You are one of the most important people to help with the development of their language skills.
Be creative. Make communication easy and fun.
“Snuggle together for quiet times with a book. Encourage your older baby to turn the pages and to point to what they see. Ask your older toddler how the characters might be feeling and wonder together what will happen next. Let your child choose the books. The more interest they have in the book, the more attentive and enjoyable your time together will be.
Reading with your child teaches more than literacy and language skills. They are learning that you value their interests and choices, and that you love and enjoy being close to them. Studies show that lifelong readers are those who, as children, simply found reading a pleasurable experience (what was read didn't seem to matter as much as how children felt about the activity).” ~
2. Key words to use when speaking with your child
If English isn’t your first language, record lullabies, or nursery rhymes in your own language. Play it to your baby when they need to sleep or calm down. Also, use key (positive) words in your own language. Laying that foundation helps develop their English.
Children thrive on positive feedback. It makes them feel loved and secure. If you find yourself dishing out negative feedback often, try and think about the effect it’s having on them. Not only is it damaging, but they’ll also learn undesirable words and say it to others.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with tolerance, they learn to be patient.
If children live with encouragement they learn to be confident.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with honesty, they learn what truth is.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live to love and be loved.
(Anonymous)
3. Understanding
“Understanding: children follow instructions involving several ideas or actions. They answer ‘how’ and ‘why’ questions about their experiences and in response to stories or events.” ~ EYFS Statutory Framework 2012 (PDF)
Children will ask a lot of ‘how’ and ‘why’ questions. That’s how they learn to communicate. By interacting with them, you’ll understand what they want or what they’re trying to say. And they’ll understand you.
“A 28-month-old is at the park. She is pointing urgently at something and saying to her grandfather, “Derl! Derl! Derl!” He says, “I’m sorry, sweetie, I don’t understand. Could you say it again?” She continues to point, and repeats herself a number of times. Finally, her grandfather says, “Oh, the squirrel. Yes, I see him up there in the tree!” This toddler is learning that her loved ones will “hang in there” and work hard to understand her attempts to communicate.” ~ www.zerotothree.org
4. Listening is more than just hearing
“Listening and attention: children listen attentively in a range of situations. They listen to stories, accurately anticipating key events and respond to what they hear with relevant comments, questions or actions. They give their attention to what others say and respond appropriately, while engaged in another activity.” ~ EYFS Statutory Framework 2012 (PDF)
Do you know it’s easy to hear, but harder to listen? Hearing is one of your 5 senses. Your ears pick up the vibrations of sounds as you hear. But, when you actively listen, you pay attention to what’s being said. And you’re able to respond appropriately.
You can help your child to be a good listener by really listening to them. Don’t switch off when they speak to you. Otherwise, you’re sending out a message that listening isn't important.
Show them what it’s like to be a good listener. Listening is a crucial part of their learning, at nursery, school, college, university and throughout their adult life.
A baby communicates mostly by crying. When you respond to their crying, you’re communicating with them. It reassures them that you understand they need something.
5. Mirror good habits by paying attention
“Early Learning Goal: Children listen attentively in a range of situations. They listen to stories, accurately anticipating key events and respond to what they hear with relevant comments, questions or actions. They give their attention to what others say and respond appropriately, while engaged in another activity.” ~ Development Matters in the Early Years Foundation Stage (PF)
Paying attention means more than just sitting with your child. It’s about listening, talking and responding to them. Giving them your undivided attention will reap benefits for the whole family. In addition, when you pay close attention, you’ll learn more about your child and the best way to raise them.
In conclusion…
Communication is a two way thing. It’s about speaking, listening, understanding and paying attention to your child without any distractions. 15 minutes out of your day to focus on them is well worth the effort. If you’re willing to take the time to develop those vital skills in them, you’ll end up with a confident child. Furthermore, you’re investing love in their future by showing you care about their development.
Over to you. We would love to hear your views…
Do you think it’s important to communicate with your child?
How do you communicate with them?
Can you add anything else you do, that’s not on this list?
If you found this article helpful, please share it on Twitter and Facebook. And encourage other parents to read and benefit from it.
But the “busyness” of life gets in the way…
Life these days is about multitasking. You take care of your baby or child, maybe you go to work or you’re a stay at home parent. You do the shopping, gardening, cooking, ironing, cleaning, the nursery runs, plus lots more during the day.
Sometimes it’s hard to find the time to communicate with your child.
It’s not because you don’t want to. There are just not enough hours in the day. So, they don’t get enough attention from you.
But communicating with your child is vital.
Don’t push them away like Nicola did to her son. “I used to tell my son, ‘not now’ or ‘go away’ when I was too tired to answer his questions, then I realised that I wasn’t helping him to learn.” ~ Listening to Children - NSPCC.
Did you know that it doesn’t have to be so hard? You can communicate with them while you’re doing your normal day-to-day activities. Or make time to devote to them so you can listen and talk to each other.
“Communication and language development involves giving children opportunities to experience a rich language environment; to develop their confidence and skills in expressing themselves; and to speak and listen in a range of situations.” ~ ~ EYFS Statutory Framework 2012 (PDF)
So, how do you make it a priority to communicate (I mean speak, listen, understand and pay attention) properly with them?
There are a number of ways you can incorporate communication in your everyday life.
1. The use of communication and language
“Language for Communication – is about how children become communicators. Learning to listen and speak emerges out of non-verbal communication, which includes facial expression, eye contact, and hand gesture. These skills develop as children interact with others, listen to and use language, extend their vocabulary and experience stories, songs, poems and rhymes.” ~ Early Years Matter
The first 5 years are crucial for your child’s communication development. That’s when they learn to speak by listening and repeating. You are one of the most important people to help with the development of their language skills.
Be creative. Make communication easy and fun.
- Babies communicate by listening, smiling and moving their bodies to music and rhythm. They enjoy stories and respond to familiar sounds. Sing to your baby during bath times. Read a bedtime story as you settle them to sleep. Talk to them as you walk, while you’re pushing them in their buggy.
- Children love nursery rhymes. Those catchy, upbeat songs helps them learn how to sing and form new words.
- Read your child or toddler’s favourite books to them. Reading the same book lots of times will help develop their speech. They’ll naturally repeat the words after you. Repetition is good for learning. I read an ABC book (over and over again) to my 14 months old grandson. Now, every time he picks up the book he says, “Deeee and Eeeee.” Although he doesn't understand what the alphabet is, he’s learning how to sound words.
“Snuggle together for quiet times with a book. Encourage your older baby to turn the pages and to point to what they see. Ask your older toddler how the characters might be feeling and wonder together what will happen next. Let your child choose the books. The more interest they have in the book, the more attentive and enjoyable your time together will be.
Reading with your child teaches more than literacy and language skills. They are learning that you value their interests and choices, and that you love and enjoy being close to them. Studies show that lifelong readers are those who, as children, simply found reading a pleasurable experience (what was read didn't seem to matter as much as how children felt about the activity).” ~
2. Key words to use when speaking with your child
If English isn’t your first language, record lullabies, or nursery rhymes in your own language. Play it to your baby when they need to sleep or calm down. Also, use key (positive) words in your own language. Laying that foundation helps develop their English.
Children thrive on positive feedback. It makes them feel loved and secure. If you find yourself dishing out negative feedback often, try and think about the effect it’s having on them. Not only is it damaging, but they’ll also learn undesirable words and say it to others.
- Nodding, smiling and cuddling your baby, speaks a thousand words. When they start to babble, repeat their babbling back to them. Tell them often, “I love you.”
- Your toddler and young child need to hear your praise. Use words like, “Clever boy/girl, well done, wonderful, I’m so proud of you, thank you, please, you can do it and you’re the best, etc.” Give lots of hugs, pats on the back and smiles.
- Starting this routine of positive speaking early in their life is setting a solid groundwork for their future. What you feed them with as they’re growing, is what they’ll produce when they’re older. Positivity produces positivity and negativity produces negativity. In other words, if you plant an apple tree, you’ll get apples. It won’t produce oranges.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with tolerance, they learn to be patient.
If children live with encouragement they learn to be confident.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with honesty, they learn what truth is.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live to love and be loved.
(Anonymous)
3. Understanding
“Understanding: children follow instructions involving several ideas or actions. They answer ‘how’ and ‘why’ questions about their experiences and in response to stories or events.” ~ EYFS Statutory Framework 2012 (PDF)
Children will ask a lot of ‘how’ and ‘why’ questions. That’s how they learn to communicate. By interacting with them, you’ll understand what they want or what they’re trying to say. And they’ll understand you.
- Use actions with words when you’re talking to your baby. For example, wave your hands when you’re saying, ‘bye, bye’ so they can connect the words with the action.
- Although your toddler understands when you speak, they can’t explain what they’re trying to say to you. Be patient, and look for clues.
“A 28-month-old is at the park. She is pointing urgently at something and saying to her grandfather, “Derl! Derl! Derl!” He says, “I’m sorry, sweetie, I don’t understand. Could you say it again?” She continues to point, and repeats herself a number of times. Finally, her grandfather says, “Oh, the squirrel. Yes, I see him up there in the tree!” This toddler is learning that her loved ones will “hang in there” and work hard to understand her attempts to communicate.” ~ www.zerotothree.org
- If you’re teaching your child to wash their hands after a visit to the toilet, display a picture of someone washing their hands, to help them understand. And reinforce what you’re saying by telling them, ‘Wash your hands please.’
4. Listening is more than just hearing
“Listening and attention: children listen attentively in a range of situations. They listen to stories, accurately anticipating key events and respond to what they hear with relevant comments, questions or actions. They give their attention to what others say and respond appropriately, while engaged in another activity.” ~ EYFS Statutory Framework 2012 (PDF)
Do you know it’s easy to hear, but harder to listen? Hearing is one of your 5 senses. Your ears pick up the vibrations of sounds as you hear. But, when you actively listen, you pay attention to what’s being said. And you’re able to respond appropriately.
You can help your child to be a good listener by really listening to them. Don’t switch off when they speak to you. Otherwise, you’re sending out a message that listening isn't important.
Show them what it’s like to be a good listener. Listening is a crucial part of their learning, at nursery, school, college, university and throughout their adult life.
A baby communicates mostly by crying. When you respond to their crying, you’re communicating with them. It reassures them that you understand they need something.
- Listen to their cooing, make eye contact and smile with them. Repeat words and phrases, so they’ll recognise and get used to different sounds. Talk to them throughout the day. It doesn't matter whether they understand you or not.
- Although your toddler will have a wide vocabulary, they’re not able to pronounce words properly. So, when they speak, don’t be tempted to correct their grammar. Respond by nodding and saying simple words of agreement. Don’t tap your feet and sigh at them. Be patient and wait for them to finish their sentences.
- If you have an older child, play listening games like, ‘Simon said…’ You can get the full instructions for playing the game by clicking this link: http://www.education.com/activity/article/simon/
5. Mirror good habits by paying attention
“Early Learning Goal: Children listen attentively in a range of situations. They listen to stories, accurately anticipating key events and respond to what they hear with relevant comments, questions or actions. They give their attention to what others say and respond appropriately, while engaged in another activity.” ~ Development Matters in the Early Years Foundation Stage (PF)
Paying attention means more than just sitting with your child. It’s about listening, talking and responding to them. Giving them your undivided attention will reap benefits for the whole family. In addition, when you pay close attention, you’ll learn more about your child and the best way to raise them.
- Play games like "peekaboo" with your baby; take them out for walks and spend time just playing with them.
- On the way home from nursery, ask your child about their day. Find out what they learnt, etc. Pay attention to what they say and give feedback. Also, tell them about your day.
- Toddlers love chatting. Even though you might not understand what they’re saying, listen attentively to them. When carrying out household chores, talk about it. Tell your child what you’re doing.
In conclusion…
Communication is a two way thing. It’s about speaking, listening, understanding and paying attention to your child without any distractions. 15 minutes out of your day to focus on them is well worth the effort. If you’re willing to take the time to develop those vital skills in them, you’ll end up with a confident child. Furthermore, you’re investing love in their future by showing you care about their development.
Over to you. We would love to hear your views…
Do you think it’s important to communicate with your child?
How do you communicate with them?
Can you add anything else you do, that’s not on this list?
If you found this article helpful, please share it on Twitter and Facebook. And encourage other parents to read and benefit from it.
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